The day my mind is still, it would be the final chapter for My Mind's Drama Copyrights@ Lilow 2004-2009

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Wings to Fly

Wings to fly,
I call upon you,
When will you grow upon my shoulder?

Wings to fly,
My eyes hunger for a new view each morning,
When will I have enough to buy you?

Wings to fly,
I love and hate you,
You stir my calm sea;
But you're the ship to my maiden voyage..

Wings to fly,
I see you on others,
Taking flight along with my sisters..

Wings to fly
You bring new breath to some,
You also cast fear to some,
But you stole my loved ones away..

Wings to fly,
I long for you since seventeen;
To take me to a new soil,
Where my stale roots can grow again..

Saturday, July 22, 2006

The Rainforest's Angels of Music

Those angels arrived during Full Moon,
Flew in from different earth realm's continent,
Made mortals dance in the rainforest,
Underneath the blue velvet sky,
With wine, beer and exotic meals served,
Melt away the coldest heart,
Replenishes melancholic souls,
Stiff feet danced again across the plain..

I tried to snap what my eyes see,
I tried to record what my ears hear,
I tried to capture what my nose smells,
I tried to replay what my heart kept..
It is there, all there..
But the intensity is lost,
Like a rose that blossoms
Then it became a pressed flower
Beneath the those thick book covers,
Kept for memory sake,
With fear of it fading along with the years,
Or with the hectic buzzing city..



Ghostly images of him floats across my mind,
First frame with his smile,
Second frame with his kwen-gari,
Third frame with his eyes closed,
Fourth frame with his possessed look,
Fifth frame with his ancient samurai look,
Almost in bliss and orgasmic,
Melding in with the rhythm he leads,
As his mates supports his thunderous sound;
With loud thumps and echoing metal,
I am hypnotized by that simple rhythm,
Even the gods and goddesses cried that night...

Haunting voices in chorus sings along with my thoughts,
Becomes as repetitive as the fiddle tunes,
Folk tunes sung in perfect harmony,
Transported my soul to Quebec,
Soothing and addictive,
Stomping foot grounds the voices,
Vibrant violin bowing sets the pace,
I find myself tapping along with it,
I hum it without realizing,
I sway and skipped like I am bewitched,
Even my heart became as virtuoso as the strings,
Leaves me gasping for breath,
Even the dead will rise to dance,
Embraced by the soft pearl moonlight…

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Find Me

Finally I have some time to blog again. I am internet-less at the moment, using a dial up and not broadband...pretty inconvenient plus I have been travelling and working for the past weeks. Cant believe I will be moving house 3 times in 6 months. Next month will be the second move. Its such a warm night and its nearly 3 am. Thought I would share my final assignment's story here, hope ya all enjoy it and I really value comments given for this piece...The word limit is 2000, so i have to cut the story short, Maybe I will fill up those loop holes in the story when i have the time to write a longer version of it..For now, here you go>>>



**************************************

Find me.’

‘We are one. Find me’.

‘Find me.’


That strange trailing voice used to echo in my head before the clock screams like the fire brigade alarm. That memory felt so distance now… and that voice... became too familiar that it felt like my own.


**************************************



Blue earrings or the purple one ah?

A high-pitched voice startles my daydream. I see a stranger fidgeting with two pairs of earrings from the reflection of the mirror. The stranger places the purple pair on her left ear and the blue one on her right ear. I could see my hands following the movement of the stranger’s hands like a shadow.

Ashley Tan Chin Ai. Weird. How did I know her name? Her face is unfamiliar but the tone of her voice seems….no, feels like I have known her forever. I begin searching the archive of my memory before her voice startles my thoughts again.

Hmm, which one ah?

I analyze her. Green eye shadows with blue liner, face as pale as the moon due to using a foundation too light for her skin, brown colored lipstick, too much blush, orange calcite bracelet, green embroidered shoes, fish-net stocking and red “cheong sam”. I guarantee that if she ever publishes a magazine on beauty and fashion tips, she won’t sell a copy.

Erm, take the sparkling purple pair… seems to compliment the red “cheong sam”. Goes well with your hazel eyes and sand colored skin’.

Oooo..sui, wa suka purple one also! Ah! ai ka kin liao, papa boh suka lang late one’ (Oooo.. nice, I like the purple too! Ah! Must hurry up, dad dislikes people who are late)’.

Weird. I don’t remember that I could understand Chinese. Somehow, I could understand every single word uttered by her.

I watch Ashley giggles excitedly from the oval mirror, decorated with colorful studs. A pot of lavender incense is burning in front of the mirror. The smell gives me a deja vu. Two Chinese lantern hang above the mirror, illuminating her face with light hint of egg-yolk color. Her long raven hair hangs to the waist and wraps around her shoulder like a silk blanket. I run my fingers through my hair that has never felt like silk threads before but it still smells like fresh peach. Ashley repeats my action. I take a curtsy. Ashley emulates too. Weird. Every movement of Ashley’s body seems to coordinate with the command of my mind, with a split second delay. Some movement belongs to the command of Ashley’s mind. I could somehow read them.

‘Cool’, I thought.

I did not know that I have psychic and mind-controlling ability like those mutants in X-men! I laugh silently while scratching my head.

Bah! There she goes again, silly copycat! A naughty plan begins to form in my mind.

I start flapping my hands like a pair of wings and run in circles around the room. The mirror displaying her image looks like a miniature television broadcasting a movie called ‘The Female Charlie Chaplin’. Then, I pose like Chun Li from my favorite Street Fighter game; Ashley’s attire seems to match the role. I also attempt some high kicks until both of my legs are lifted off the ground. Then, a loud thud follows.

‘Oi! Sarah, lu ki siao ah?! My ka cheng hurts now (Oi! Sarah, have you gone crazy?! My butt hurts now)’.

Ashley picks herself up and straightens her crumpled dress.

‘Oops..sorry’.

Guilty and I couldn’t care less. Hmm..seems like she knows me too. Sarah. Sarah. I almost forgot my name. I watch Ashley tiptoes towards the dressing table and picks up a silver chain that holds a flower pendant made of jade. I paused.

Where have I seen that flower design before? Wait a minute.

I shrug. My eyeball moves rapidly, searching every corner of the mirror for my reflection. I feel beads of cold sweat forming on my forehead. The view around me begins to look as if I am gazing out from a ‘teacup ride’ that I used to adore when I was a kid. The only difference, I am not laughing in this ride. My shivering hands reach and touch the icy surface of the mirror, leaving a patch of vapor that resembles Ashley’s hands more than mine. These fingerprints are too tiny to be mine.

Where am I? I do not see me!! What the hell is happening?

‘Siao ah! You are right here lah! Lu beh ki ha mi su meh?’ (Don’t be crazy! You are right here! Don’t you remember what happen?). The image in the mirror raises her eyebrows.

Mien kia, mien kia. Deep breath..xiong tio tui’ ( Don’t be afraid, Take a deep breath and try to remember). Her voice softens and it reminds me of my mother’s voice, during those scary thunderstorm nights.

‘This will help’.

She removes her chain that holds the flower pendant made of jade and let it hang in front of her eyes. I stare at the pendant. Suddenly, my memories begin to roll like a movie reel, in a rewinding motion. It spins like a windmill caught in the midst of a strong wind.

********************************


Yes, I remember now.

My name is Sarah Taylor. I live in New York City. My folks have migrated to heaven without me last year. I still owe them a cruise to Alaska. Anyway, I write beauty-related articles for Poise online magazine. I also freelance for a jewelry shop, designing pendants for them. I recall that my hair resembles the lava that flows out of the volcano and it makes my snow-white skin glow, especially under the sun. Somehow, I forgot the shape of my lips but it always taste like strawberry with my lip-gloss on. I think I have a pair of dirty olive eyes to match with. Though, they often beg me to rest. I wish I could.

I have never slept in my life. When my eyes are shut, I see another world. Basically, I wake up in another room and begin another morning living as another woman. I know she adores Chinese opera. The smell of lavender often lingers in her room. It lingers until I return to my reality as Sarah. Time is almost non-existence to me.

Find me. We are one. Find me.

That recurring voice is often disturbing to my psyche. Why is this mysterious woman calling for me to seek her? What does she mean by ‘we are one’?

*********************


The movie reel in my head took a forward motion until it takes a halt. Now, I see a woman with scruffy hair and frills hanging down like willow leaves from her chiffon top, sitting on my study table. She has large blood shot eyes.

Want to an end this misery?’

‘Who..who.. are you? Where did you come from? How….’

‘SILENCE, my child! Here’s the deal. Destroy the Crystolings and I will grant you your wish’

I hesitated. Well, it’s now or never. I am desperate to end this sleepless life. It’s exhausting.

‘Deal. But, answer my doubts’.

Foolish absentminded mortal! You drew the symbol and invoked me. I am Lady Lidima, the descendant of Lord Litolin, King of Magicians, Guardian of Earth Realm and beyond. Your words have now bound you to this deal. Your fate will be sealed if you fail.’

Before I could question more, she threw a rainbow colored energy orb that formed from her palms, right at my face. I felt like I have just been electrocuted. The energy orb equips my brain with mental image of the immortal’s profile.

‘Such advance technology’, I thought.

She left a bottle filled with silver liquid, eye ointment, a silver athame, a blessed lime along with instructions that says “How to destroy the Crystolings”, written with ink on dried papyrus. Classic. Then, she vanishes with laughter that sounds like my neighbor’s screeching tires. A piece of paper with the sketch of my flower design floated from above my head and landed on my lap. A Singapore customer has ordered that design for her raw jade one week ago. Weird. My design coincidently matches the symbol on the right corner of the papyrus. Underneath it says, ‘Ancient symbol used to invoke the Guardians. To invoke, draw the symbol with carbon. Beware of consequences.’


****************************


The scene of my encounter with Lady Lidima began to fade. Swiftly, I remember the Crystoling’s fingernails clawing into my neck as I watch helplessly at the silver liquid seeping into the ground, leaving behind glass splinters from the bottle. The eyes ointment used to see her true form has lost its power, leaving me delusional to her tricks. I’ve thrown the bottle at her magically conjured twin instead of her. I have lost my last weapon. Even the lime has lost its protection magic to repel her and the silver athame turned into mercury.

‘Another mortal fooled by Lidima. Her magical tools are usually useless after two hours’. Her voice tingles in the night.

I finally saw the true form of my target at the final hour of my doom. During the two-hour battle, I have watched her emerge from a dark shadow to an eagle, a spider, a leopard and finally a Crystolings, the last breed of shape-shifter on Earth. Creatures with eyes that illuminates like the evening star, human-like, bloodless lips, no nose along with transparent hair that floats in the air. I could still hear her hissing the truth of the deal that I am involved in.

‘Wicked Lidima and her great grandfather’s old traps. Using poor mortals like you to destroy me, the last Crystolings on Earth realm. We used to be the guardian of mortal’s soul, watching over the cycle of birth and death. Until…Lord Litolin damned us all, stole our job and our sacred symbol that only deserving mortal can use to invoke us for wishes'.

‘Is that the flower design I drew?’ I interrupt.

Yes. Now, Lidima uses it to help mortals to carry out curses and evil deeds. Every wish granted by her makes her stronger, by stealing a bit of their soul. As for unlucky random mortals like you, she gains your entire soul by luring you to her famous deal. She pre-planned it. Before you enter the womb, Lidima splits your soul into two, creating mortals like you who dwell in two bodies originating from one soul. Your distress psyche has made you see her deal tempting. There are still many of you out there’.

I can’t believe Lady Li-bitch-ma tricked me.

Let me finish my task. This body has been cursed by Lidima and will decay after one cycle of the moon and sun. She will come and claim your soul once it decays.’

The next thing I know, she kissed me on the lips. A force trickles down my throat and squeezes my pumping heart to a halt.

‘Poi--son…’, My final word.

I felt light. The last memory I have is my lifeless body, lying next to the Falconer Statue in New York Central Park. Everything turned pitch black. All I hear is that voice…

********************************



‘Find me. We are one. Find me’.

‘That one is wa eh sim sia ti kio lu tui lai wa eh seng ku’ (That is my heart’s voice calling for you to return to my body).

I nodded. I have been to this lavender scented room before. I know where every object is placed here. This is my new home now. There is some adjustment to make in terms of my ‘new face’ and her fashion style. I look at the jade flower pendant in Ashley’s palm…no, our palm.

'Did you order this pendant design from New York?' I asked.

Ashley nodded. ‘Wa kio lu design wan ma, lu beh ki nia’ (I am the one who asked you to design it, you just don’t remember)’. We giggle, but only one voice echoes in the room.

I am Ashley and Ashley is I.

We are one.